Saturday, December 06, 2008 

When Dreams come visiting

I had a dream, said Martin Luther King and well they say, that changed the world.

I too have a dream, none too lofty or grand as dreams in the world generally go, but a dream that I hold dear and close to my heart more that anything else. Dreams from a boy, too young to dream about true love, too innocent to understand its depth. But funnily enough amidst all my dreams of turning into Superman, or bending it better than Beckham, I also had this dream about a girl. A girl so lovely, so full of charm and so in love with me. I dreamt about a happiness beyond happiness, a love beyond love. I was her saviour, her Prince charming and she, my soulmate in every way. She was always just the girl, no face that I could remember, no voice that I could recall. But she was always there, in my dreams, holding my hand and smiling at me.I knew it was a dream.

I knew that like my other dreams of flying around in bright red undies and a blue cape, this dream too was always going to be just that, a dream. Oh yeah, I did know that I eventually would be with someone, someone who I would spend my life with. But I also believed that she could and never would be the girl, the girl who walked beside me in my dreams.

It did make me wonder sometimes, Where does a man truly live? Is he only truly alive in his dreams and imaginations and hope? Is the real world where he just exists but doesnt really live ?? Questions that I had no answers to, doubts that stayed that way. So I trudged along through life, not daring to hope, too afraid to wish for my dream to come true. And the girl from my dreams remained faceless, still beckoning to me with her smile.

Well, there are times in every man's life when there comes a redefining moment. It just creeps upon him, or just zips past, perhaps too silently and quickly for him to realize that this was that moment. So one fine day, just as it is in those tales, in early January of 2007, with the thrill and the warmth of the new year still fresh, I had one of those moments come visiting.

You said hello, and then they say, my world changed :)

The dream that I dreamt a thousand nights, the dream I thought would never come true, the girl who I thought no one could ever be. Was it you ? I didnt know, but I now dared to hope, dared to wish for it to come true. Then came the best year of my life, filled with a thousand little moments of love, of thrill and of an intensity that I thought I could never feel. I discovered what love was, what it meant to wish someone all the happiness in the world and how wonderful it felt to care for someone even above yourself. In you my dear, I discovered my soulmate, and through you I discovered me.

So now when I go to sleep, I still dream. And amidst all those weird, loony dreams that I generally have, there still comes the dream of that girl. The one who smiles and holds my hand while she walks beside. She has grown more beautiful, and her love a lot stronger. She glows with a happiness most beautiful, and speaks to me in tones that speak of love. And she no longer remains faceless because You my dear, now reside in my dreams as much as in my heart.

This I know, my love, will be the way it will be, forever and ever....

3:12 AM | |

Wednesday, May 09, 2007 

The Chronicles

The Chronicles of a Manager
The Man, The Myth and The Corporate Bladder

Prologue:

Management is a kind of work …..

It requires a thorough understanding of the universe and its functioning at physical, spiritual and sub-atomic levels. It requires you to be an expert practitioner of tantrik rituals and voodoo mumble jumble. If you are a cannibal, thick-skinned and have a smug expression of contempt etched on your face, you should seriously consider taking up this profession.

A manager is a super-hero; he fights all odds and manages to save his own ass. You might say – big deal, he’s just selfishly saving a useless piece of anatomy. But hey that is sacrilege!!! To a manager there is nothing that’s more sacred than his bottom and to protect it he will sacrifice all that he has, errr I mean all that you have!!!

Day 1 – My first day as a Manager at the new Company

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day at work. I dint do any work.
I met the CEO and he was bald and fat. I think I can be him one day.
He welcomed me very warmly and said he had high hopes and expectations from me. I think he is a bit of a dreamer.

I met my team today. They seemed to like me, they were laughing hard at every joke that I said. I don’t like any of them. They all seemed smart. I think I will have a tough time trying to get them to do my work. I hate people, and I hate smiling at them.


Day 2 – Incompetent people

Dear Diary,

I got a laptop today. It’s really great, but they had only one color – black. This is bad; they should stock laptops in different colors. I wanted one to match my tie.

It was tough to get people to do things properly. It took them half an hour to set up everything on my laptop. Finally they managed to set it up. It was a complete waste of my time. Ohh I almost forgot, I managed to complete a game of solitaire today. The first time I have done it. I was surprised and happy.

People here don’t work much. I watched them all day from my office.

3:35 AM | |

Monday, May 07, 2007 

The Answer

THE ANSWER

Like the first rain of summer
With its sweet scent of surprise
The joy that pours forth in my heart
Has never before felt ever so nice

I watch as the puddles form
Tingling with their soft pleasure
The world feels so very alive
As I soak it in, this secret treasure

My heart sings out a sweet tune
That speaks of joy, speaks of love
And then it falls into thoughtful silence
For it craves for something right now

I search hard for the answer it wants
And I close my eyes and wish that I find
The key to my smile, the key to my joy
The answer to which I have been so blind

And then it comes to me so very clear
The answer was love and that's you, my dear ....

1:15 PM | |

 

Reflections


REFLECTIONS

He cries out loud with a strange pain
Writhing with agony that lashes again and again
A deep sorrow, an untold loss, and tears
That refuse to dry, perhaps never, one fears

The young face, with eyes that have aged
They tell a story about a storm that once raged
About the million pieces his life broke into
Never to join again, inspite of all he tried to do

Life plays its cruel tricks on a unlucky few
He knows that nothing could be more true
The pain, the sorrow and the deep loneliness
He soaks it all in, into his soul, nonetheless

The cries stop and so does the soulful violence
He wipes his tears in an eerie silence
And then he smiles at me, his benevolent creator
As I smile back and walk away from the mirror ....

11:55 AM | |

Sunday, March 05, 2006 

Summer Rain


THE SUMMER RAIN

The scent of the first rain of summer
As the trees shivered in cold delight
I stood all drenched under a shelter
Scanning the sky and the birds in flight

I saw her then, as she ran towards me
Her hands shielding her from the rain
Splashing the puddles in obvious glee
And with an amusement hard to contain

She reached the shelter, a smile on her lips
And looked at me with her beautiful eyes
An angel she was, like a bunch of tulips
She spread warmth and made my spirits rise

We stood side by side, as the rain fell
A thousand silent words were spoken
And in a while my heart had a tale to tell
For in that divine moment, it had truly awoken

But the rain soon turned into a drizzle
And it was time for her to leave
I watched silently, my heart in a tussle
For that it was over, I didn’t want to believe

She gave me a glance and smiled a little
And as she walked away, I felt a numbing pain
I realized that my heart had turned brittle
For I had fallen in love, in the Summer Rain....

10:55 PM | |

 

Nostalgia

NOSTALGIA - THE PAIN AND JOY

Of the times past, the moments gone by
The days that wont come again, much as I try
Things I cant forget, I think I know why
Not matter what, some memories just dont die

Friends at school, the pranks we played
Those carefree days, the bonds that were made
Then we parted, and the memories stayed
I hold on to them, like they were precious jade

Then at college, when life felt great
Hanging out with friends, and studying late
Those trips and treats, and then the date
When we went our ways, to meet our fate

The first crush, the best friends
I remember them all, just like yesterday
And then I smile, as the joy it lends
Brightens me up and makes my day...

10:38 PM | |

Thursday, February 16, 2006 

IIM K GD/PI Experience


I had my IIM Kozhikode Interview on the 15th of Feb at the beautiful IIMB campus. Hmmphh….. Pretty miffed that it messed up my Valentine’s Day plans [Get real dude ;-)]… anywayz I did try my best cramming up for the interview. I was in kinda fix as to how one should go about preparing for an IIM interview, but thanks to highly enlightening and useful comments like - ‘Be ready for everything under the Sun’ - I was able to give direction to my preparation….duhhh.

I was told that I needed to focus on my strengths. So I had diligently joined a GYM and worked hard on increasing my strength…. After toiling over a month I now proudly sport biceps that would put Narain Karthikeyan to shame. But horrors of horrors!! I realized that I was expected to wear a formal shirt and tie to the IIM interviews (why on earth?). All that toil… all that sweat … came to no avail. Sob Sob…. I was counting on impressing the panel a la Salman Khan or at least wanted to try a Ganguly shirt swinger. Maaan, was I shattered…..

But, Life goes on…so on the 15th of Feb I decked myself in an atrocious tie, a blazing shirt and hid them with a serene blazer and set out early morning to the IIMB campus. Hey, I dint forget the pants…wore them as well along with a tight pair of shoes (the chappals did look inviting though). So after an uneventful auto ride there I was in the crystal maze that they call the IIMB campus. Let the games begin ……

After navigating through a whole lot of corridors, hallways and endless passages I joined about 25-30 nervous, immaculately dressed people who had come to attend their IIMK interview. I immediately scanned through the crowd, like a responsible young man, HEY WAT THE HELL!! Just 2 girls in that sizeable crowd!!…. I immediately sat down and did a rethink as to whether I wanted to join an institute that was going to be this competitive. Imagine if there will be only 15 girls among the 180 students who eventually make it through, that would make it a boys: girls ratio of 11:1. Maaan tatz helluva competition!!!

So as I was slowly ruminating over such scary figures, a prim and proper gentleman lead us to the room where we were supposed to have our GD (Group Discussion to the uninitiated) I got to sit at the head of the table (Yippee!!) but the elation receded when I realized that I will be sitting farthest away from the panel. There were 10 people in my batch (9guyz and 1grl) and after a couple of mins we were given our topic:

'Globalization is having a devastating impact on the environment.'

We were asked to start in a couple of minutes. The discussion started and was perfect for exactly the first 8 seconds and then boy-o-boy all hell broke loose. An easy topic meant every tom-dick-harry (me included – and No, I was not the dick) had lots to say. Pandemonium, chaos, anarchy… yeah we had all the elements that makes up a beautifully disastrous GD and I am proud to say I did my fair share to add to the crazy noise. We would have put dogs outta business if we had carried on like that for long. But thankfully, the shell-shocked panel ask us to Shut up in about 8-10 mins. So out we came all disappointed and remorseful over our 10 minutes of complete madness, should put it down as completely due to the Valentine’s Day hangover.

That done, we all got ready for the next ordeal, a gruesome and mortifying experience they call Personal Interview. I guess it’s aptly named because things do get a little personal out there or so I am told…duhh.

My interview slot was number 6 and it was a long wait till I got my chance to be tandoorified. A few freshers preceded me into the interviews, among them a smug IITian and couple of confident REC/NIT dudes. Most of them came out with an expression, which said, “Hey was that a Bus that ran me over!!”
Finally, my turn comes and I am called in by one of the panel members. I felt exactly like a goat being led to slaughter, and so I entered with butterflies in the stomach and a stupid looking grin that implored for sympathy.

Panel from IIM Kozhikode, arguably the most beautiful IIM campus.

Now lets assign nicks here:
Ranjit that would be Me
Panel1 the Mooch
Panel2 the Chubby

I sit down after the usual exchanges.

Chubby: You have been at a good company for 2 years, working in a good domain and doing the same line of work you were taught in Engineering. You have also received recognition at work. So why do you want to enter into a management career?
Mooch watches me with a sideways look that’s giving me the creeps.
Me: Sir I am looking for challenges, responsibilities ……blah blah. As an engineer I feel I am limited to a narrow band. …(Boy can I fart!). I want to understand all aspects of business because.… and so it went on…

Chubby quizzes me about my college and he seemed to know quite a lot about the organization that it was a part of. I manage to tackle that easily enough.

Mooch is still watching me ….probably he is assessing my strengths or my biceps?? I try to puff my chest out and try my best to give a good account of my manly strength. He seems convinced and asks me to give him my certificates. I do that with obsequious politeness.

Mooch: You were School Captain? Which school? What did you learn in that role?
I tell him and go on to fart so much more, but then decided to stop because I felt that a little more and it would have begun to stink.

Chubby: What is the unit of Strength of Materials?
Me: Cough, Hic… Ahemm (Darn now I remember a subject by that name in my first year…but dammmit I am a macho Techie, not a Civil bore!!)
Sir, I am not able to recall

Mooch: How do you think the GD went from a personal point of view.
Me: Hmm told him that it was a chaotic one. I should have done a better job of giving structure to the GD and also should have somehow tried to bring down the noise levels, though it was admittedly a next to impossible task. And yeahh I could have contributed a few more points…
Mooch: But you did contribute a lot of points…(He goes on to mention all the points that I had said, which though substantial, I felt had been lost in the tumultuous noise….but hey the guy had heard them all and noted them down as well….Yippee!!!)

But I am brought down by his next question
Mooch: Do you think you were a little dominating during the GD
Me: I don’t think I was too dominating …
Mooch: (interrupting me) I dint say too dominating…a little ….from the point of view of the other aspirants
Me: (Somewhat relieved) Yaak Yak Yak (go on to give a lot more gyaan…about how the situation demanded it. Natural for everyone to be a little animated. Positional, Voice advantages that I had over the others and so on…I finish it with a wisecrack ….
…(Smiles all around)

Mooch: Okay, so you play Football for your Company. Which position?
Me: Right Midfield…

Mooch was in all probability a football fan because at this juncture we launch into a long discussion on football. Role of midfielder, my qualities, why I dint play forward, football formations, qualities of a forward, Rudd, Rooney, Maradona….and lot more

This goes on for about 5-6 minutes and was a very amiable piece of discussion.

Chubby: What do you know about OOAD? Do you have it being actively implemented at your company?
Me: Give him an overview of OOAD and then go on talk about OOAD at my company, Reuse repositories, Knowledge zones and so on…

Mooch: How many Indians have won Nobel prizes? Name them.
Me: Could recall only four and listed them along with their fields

Mooch: What was Amartya’s work on?
Me: I can’t recall exactly sir, but it involved the study of the situation of the poor in India.
(Later came to know it was a study of Famine and Poverty in India)

Chubby: What is a continuous function?
Me: Fumble…Mutter…(Duhh buddy …does my face displease you??)

Chubby: As an Engineer you should be knowing these things.
Me: Grin….that gets more stupid with time. (Sir, puhleease check out my biceps)

Chubby: Okay how about Applications of Differentiation?
Me: I mention about 3-4 applications of Differentiation….. (Not impressively though )

Chubby: Okay, that’s it. Thank you.
Me: Thank you Sirs. (Smile) (Was sorely tempted to emulate Ganguly and swing my shirt, blazer, tie wateva – more out of relief than anything else)
Mooch and Chubby smile
Chubby: Good Luck!

Time taken: About 15-18 mins
Feeling: Not a bad interview, but hey they passed no comments about my biceps that I worked so hard upon… and duhh people say you should always exhibit your strengths during interviews. Watever, was just happy to be out of the place .

Thatz all, folks!!!

5:47 AM | |

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 

Rang De Basanti


I watched Rang De Basanti a couple of days back. It did burn a hole in my pocket but nevertheless a movie with buddies at one of the new age multiplexes is worth the dough. Now what was Rang De Basanti all about?? Patriotism? Jingoism? Awakening of the youth? Hmmm…. Well it was a little bit of all these. The treatment of the movie was a little unique, with the sepia flashbacks to an era of brave, patriotic and valiant young men juxtaposed against the unconcerned, disillusioned youth of today. However I felt that the movie fell short of what it could have been. It promised much but failed to live up to the promise mainly due to the melodramatic and irrational tripe that constituted the climax.

There were quite a few moving situations in the movie. The bonhomie, the attitudes, the disillusionments were something that I could identify with. However the paucity of genuine causes for the youth to fight for is something that came across in a sorry manner. In a country like India, with corruption at every corner, a zillion crimes everyday do we really need an odd incident to awaken us? Have we lost the zest to fight? Have we lost the ability to rise above the ordinary and bring about change? Perhaps we have…

Saala poora system hi karaab hai… I hear that everyday, and what’s more that’s my favorite excuse as well, to defend my own inaction. Hey maan, I have a tough time living my own damnn life! Why in the world would I want to try to correct something that is beyond redemption? Fair enough, its not your job, neither is it mine, but who’s job is it then? The corruption, the political creeps, the all pervading mistrust and hatred sickens every one of us. But we have chosen to turn our back to all this and get on with our own lives. Sad, yes it is, but hey back off mister!!!

Can we make a difference? Can we turn around the society, which is seemingly going to the dogs? The answer is an emphatic YES… But that was an easy question. How about – Will I do something about it? Why should I do it? That’s a tough one ehh…

I hope I can find the answer to that, I hope every one of us can. Some people have found their answers in the past and many more will find answers in the future. Five IITians have launched their own party and have declared their determination to make a difference. I am happy for them. To be enthused about a cause that seems hopeless requires lots of motivation and lots of guts. Herez wishing them all the luck for a tough fight ahead. They will need all the help they can get. Good luck mates!!!

As for guys like me and most of you, lets hope we can discover the fire in us to fight the tide and make a difference. It won’t be easy, it won’t be smooth but hey, wars are like that and this is the biggest of them all…

1:28 AM | |

Thursday, February 02, 2006 

Crossroads

I read the Alchemist about a year back when things were not going too good for me. A discovery of the self, finding your destiny hmmm…. yeah the book did speak about all that and a lot more. However I feel the book is meaningful and applies to only a very niche audience. Most people in this world don’t need to find their destiny. In fact they are better off just living their lives without concerning themselves with anything non-existential. Nevertheless there are a few people to whom the book would have been a poignant experience, a reflection that mirrored their own quest.

It’s surprising that though we all know that we are such insignificant beings in the universe, we still attach so much importance to our quest for our destiny. Does this pursuit make anyone smarter or more sensible than a person who doesn’t give a damnn??
Why is it that we need to find the reason for our existence?

There are times in all our lives when we need to take decisions, decisions that shape our future or send us to a spiraling fall. It’s at times like these that we try to understand what is it that we want from life. I believe that its one of the toughest questions to answer and most of us will have finished a major part of our life before we even come even close to finding an answer.

I believe that we are at crossroads at every moment of our lives. There are no signposts telling you which road leads to where. All that we can do is that we put up our own signpost and follow that road. Yeahh and hope that when you get to the destination, it is where you hoped it would be :-)

7:16 PM | |

 

The Cookie Crumbles

Its done! I have held off valiantly all this while, but no more. Inspite of all the misgivings, trepidations that I have regarding blogging I have decided to bite the dust and commit the heinous crime of subjecting all mankind to my deranged musings. Not that I feel sorry for them unlucky souls ;-)

So what do I start off with ?? How about a poem.......a melancholy one.....yeahhhhhh

Young? Got Dreams? Met failure? Scared of your future? Never thought of future? Got hope? Have trouble understanding the world? Have trouble understanding yourself?
Wondering what the hell you are doing on this planet???

Good, read on......

CROSSROADS


Faces fly past, too fast to stop
To realms that even they don’t know
The dark sky, the first rain drop
Trees all green and the lush rainbow
Time flies on, who cares about these
Got to go somewhere, just like geese

The world goes dark, the silence deeper
I stand in the midst to hear the call
But I hear my heart tell me in a whisper
I really don’t want to go anywhere at all
That cannot be true, I tell myself
Everyone has to find his destiny himself

So what do I want, where do I go
Many paths to take, choices galore
I can’t decide, so let the winds blow
Just take me somewhere, I ask no more
Not a poet, nor a knight, all I ask
Make me someone who doesn’t need a mask

Staring at the crowd that rushes past
I realize they too are trying to cope
With shattered dreams, sorrows that last
With pains of failure and lure of hope
And my heart screams, in a numbing chant


Is this what I want? Is this what I want ?

I am sure that many of you will be able to identify with the thoughts and general angst that comes across in this poem of mine. If its touched a chord with any one then yeaahhh its served its purpose.



6:06 AM | |